Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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