my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
