Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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