This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize