I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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