Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
