the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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