So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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