Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
