There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
