Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
