What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We are two peas in an std pod
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
