if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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