It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
