Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
