We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
