So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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