Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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