I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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