Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
