Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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