Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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