I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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