So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
