We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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