I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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