STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Boobs speak an international language.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
