i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
