apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize