My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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