woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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