Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
