i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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