Cold hands, warm shart.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
