Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
