Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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