There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
