I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
