saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
