i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
