He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
