I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
