why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
