How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
