textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize