I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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