i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
