I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
