woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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