she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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