dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize