Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
