somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He felt like a one man threesome
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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