I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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